So I was watching the painfully pathetic show "Real Women" the other week. You know, Coleen Rooney's show where she finds "real women" and gets them a modelling job. Amazingly, she wants us to believe that real women can compete with models when it comes to a casting. Ha, she makes me laugh! Real women can only compete with models when they are on a show called "Real Women" and the brands know they'll look good hing a "real woman".
Anyway the show is not what I wish to talk about, what I wish to talk about is her god damn crows feet! I couldn't help but be fascinated. She has the eyes of a 40 year old. The woman is only 22!
Not only is she only 22, she is dt rich! How can someone so young, and so loaded with cash look so damn rubbish for the age? Why are TV networks subjecting me to rich ugly people on television? Why hasn't she done something about those wrinkly eyes? Wait a minute, why the hell are her eyes so wrinkled? She's 22 for chrissakes! I don't understand. Even if she had been lying in a sun bed every morning and every evening without protective eye gear on for the last 10 years she still wouldn't have the eyes of a 40 year old. Could it be...that she's not really 22? Could it be that she's 42? Hmm....
Anyway the show is not what I wish to talk about, what I wish to talk about is her god damn crows feet! I couldn't help but be fascinated. She has the eyes of a 40 year old. The woman is only 22!
Not only is she only 22, she is dt rich! How can someone so young, and so loaded with cash look so damn rubbish for the age? Why are TV networks subjecting me to rich ugly people on television? Why hasn't she done something about those wrinkly eyes? Wait a minute, why the hell are her eyes so wrinkled? She's 22 for chrissakes! I don't understand. Even if she had been lying in a sun bed every morning and every evening without protective eye gear on for the last 10 years she still wouldn't have the eyes of a 40 year old. Could it be...that she's not really 22? Could it be that she's 42? Hmm....
Very insightful blog to kick off things Jack Can! Your doggedness to slag this ugly bitch with crows feet is hard-hitting, elegant, yet tasteful. I look forward to the second instalment. I’m adding this to my favourites!
ReplyDeleteCan you write something else please? Be really angry too... That is all.
ReplyDeleteHere's my theory. When making love to Wayne "Shrek" Rooney, she has to squint her eyes so much to not see his face and imagine it's someone else. Doing that a lot would give you major crows feed :D
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